So, I've got one more hour before the end of work, and today's an especially slow day. So I figured I'd kill time by blabbering exactly ABOUT my work so as to feel at least somewhat productive.
The office in which is work is a rather large corner office on the 7th floor of a building in a suburban Philadelphian landscape. My two gigantic walls face away from downtown, so that in the distance, all i see are remote radio towers and the occasional church steeple. It's really a beautiful view.
I moved up here from the third floor, which has a markedly less amazing office feel. The third floor is structured like an assembly line, where men with advanced degrees and IQ's in the quadruple digits rub up against each other and occasionally smell each other's armpits....by accident? who knows.
I was sad at first to move away from the action like that, but once i saw the office i was moving into, i was extremely happy, especially because i only shared it with one other guy, and he was an alright guy. We got along, and even joked around a bit before he announced to me that he was leaving the company. I felt a little sad.
Then, the greatest thing in the world occurred to me. I would have the entire office to myself. 100 square feet (i have no idea if that's accurate) of corner office all to myself. I was living the dream.
UNTIL..........After three or so months of bliss, my boss decided that we couldn't do the job man-down, and hired a new person. A female. Someone wholesome and genuine and family oriented and a mother of two who is happily married. UGH. What did I do to deserve this??? She came into MY office and sat down and immediately started chatting with me about all her wholesome, genuine, and awful stuff. No more jokes, no more pessimistic sarcasm, or witty repartee.
Just, "guess what happened to me at church last Tuesday night."
all the while, I'm thinking..."you go to church Tuesday night?"
Her 'funny story' revolves around someone in her church group who 'comically' brought the wrong dish to their meeting, and how they all broke down into 'hysterical laughter' because of the ensuing 'chaos'. My fingers are tired from all the 'air quotes'.
Now, if she were a normal person, I would have followed that up with a silly comment like, "well, that's it, she's cut off. God won't let her in if she can't get his order at the restaurant correct". But I had to be nice, and say, "Oh Brother! What a saucy situation!" or something like that. I suppressed that memory even though it happened maybe two days ago.
And i think the worst thing about it is that she hums. All. Day. Long.
I just wish one day, she were to look over at me, and say something like, "You know what, I hate the British." or "breakfast cereals", or "ceremonial headdresses" or anything that would strike up a good cynical conversation. I've certainly made my effort of telling her how EVERYTHING is awesome. the least she could do is reciprocate.