Re-Opening of the Bolshoi - Reflections of an American

One of the most admirable things about Russian Culture is their commitment to the arts.  The Bolshoi Theater re-opened this weekend in Moscow after 6 years of renovations with about as much pomp as a Post-Soviet culture will allow.  Below are the highlights.



Go here if you'd like to watch the whole thing, including a pretty incredible Swan Lake.

What really amazes me about Russian culture is that in the audience, you can see all the major pop stars, movie stars, government officials and (presumably) powerful business people.  In my MBA classes, we study Russia as a so-called "emerging market" along with Brazil, India and China (the "BRIC" countries of current major emerging markets).  However, when you consider that Russia has one of the highest literacy rates and one of the highest rates of advanced degrees per capita (not to mention the USSR was a super power that beat the US to space), it's difficult to think about it on the same level as China and India, who (at least in my mind) more aptly fall within the definition of "Emerging". 

Could you see something like this happening in the US?  This is the equivalent of Britney Spears, Mel Gibson, John McCain, and Bill Gates sitting down to watch a two hour ballet/opera/nationalism extravaganza in an opera house as old as the US itself.  I could never imagine a situation that would match this actually happening in America.  Not only because we don't have any opera houses that have been steeped in as much national pride as the Bolshoi, but also because Americans in general just don't care about the arts.  The closest thing we've had to celebrity endorsement of the arts was Gwyneth Paltrow showing up on Glee in a Marie Antoinette outfit singing Cee-Lo.  God, how I hate her.

But besides this, if you watch the highlights, you get a sense of WHY this would never happen in the states.  The government spent $700 million dollars restoring the building with hand crafted wooden wall adornments, a 6-meter chandelier, and a stage large enough to handle the entire Russian proletariat class all at once.  Obama can't spent $0.50 without the tea party shitting their proverbial pants, let alone $700 million on something the majority of tea party members will never see or can even remotely appreciate.  They'd likely rather see a Blue Angels Superbowl flyby.  Probably costs the same, too.

It's strange, though, that from an American perspective the performance seemed so self-congratulatory.  The Bolshoi troupe spent about five minutes of the entire performance filling up a massive stair-set reminiscent of the Battleship Potemkin's Odessa Steps sequence for the sole purpose, it seemed, of showing just how massive the stage was.  All of this was in front of a scaled down version of the entire opera house, as if to say - "Hey, don't forget that we just spent more than half a decade and close to a Billion Dollars renovating this place!!"  Medvedev gave a long, boring speech before retiring to the Tsar's balcony, and an intricate light show played upon the outside of the building while fireworks erupted above. 

Not that I don't agree with the renovation, or think that they should be lauded for supporting the arts.  I just don't think if we were to do something like this, we would be so "hey, look how awesome WE are".  We already know how awesome we are, I guess.  Flaunting it would just be overkill and rude.

Another thing to note: Russians start to applaud in a sea of applause similar to the way Americans applaud, but then, if they really liked something, they typically will all end up clapping in unison. I've been to a couple Russian performances (violin virtuosos and stringed quartets straight from Russia to NE Philly) where the entire audience all started clapping together.  It made me incredibly uncomfortable.  At first, I thought they were mocking the performers, until my wife explained it to me. 

How we Remember

9/11 means a different thing for every single person.

Some people choose to use the day to remember the heroes of the homeland who fought to save lives at great risk to their own.  Some people choose to use the day to remember how vulnerable our country is.  Some people choose to use the day to remember that there are crazy nut-job people in every corner of the earth, in every culture, and in every religion. 

The LEAST we can do is provide healthcare for them.

But I think the unfortunate thing about this is that the majority of people only remember these things on 9/11.  They need a holiday to remind them that there are both heroes and nut-jobs everywhere, and that our country has a giant scar across its face that will likely never heal.

What's the difference between two months ago and today?  Two months ago, no one was even mentioning 9/11.  For the most part - people were mostly just going about their day, chatting with their neighbors about Kim Kardashian's wedding and did Jada cheat on Will and other similarly ridiculous things.  Today, people are posting on Facebook about how they'll "Never Forget".  Two months from now, it will again be back to trivial distractions.

I think it's a bit silly.  If you're going to remember the tragic events, remember the tragic events. Carry it with you every single day.  Of course, don't dwell on it, but don't let that memory sit untouched for 10 years only to resurface with phony tributes in your Facebook status.

I was walking with my wife yesterday to the playground so that Sammy could get his swing on (he loves the swings).  We noticed how uncharacteristically dead quiet the playground was, and commented on how it was likely because most people were observing 9/11 in some way or another.  I told my wife how fake I thought it was, and just like every other time we discuss something - she told me I was stupid.

She told me about the Russian Orthodox tradition, where people who lose a family member will set a place setting (complete with shot glass) out for them at the table for the 9 days (or 40 days, I wasn't really listening, and she definitely said the number 40 about something) after their death to commemorate their passing.  Then one year after their passing, they will put a memorial stone on their grave, and every year on the anniversary of their passing, they will light a candle.

Apparently, after a quick Google search, this is not an uncommon practice.

But the way I see it is: what's so special about that day?  Don't you carry the memory of that person with you every minute of every day?  Their death is no more or less significant to you one year later than it is ten years and three months.  It's a tragedy, simple as that.  And it always will be a tragedy.

So for me, when that fateful time comes, I plan on not doing anything special to commemorate.  I'll just keep it in my back pocket, carrying it with me always.  Same as what I do with 9/11.

History Lesson

It's time for this week's thoroughly researched and historically accurate (and, as usual for this blog, not ignorant what-so-ever) history lesson.

Why, you ask?  A couple reasons.  First - whatevuh - I do wut I want. Second - history can be awesome if you focus your attention on tanks and away from boring stuff like facts.  And third, which is probably most important, have you ever spoken to a Russian about World War 2?  Apparently, they won the pants off of it.

I know what you're thinking - America won WW2.  And it did - there's no question about it.  It's written in all the best history books and in all websites that I chose to read.  And it's logical too.  America = Good.  Nazis = Bad.  Soviets = not as bad as Nazis, but still - they're not America, so pretty bad.  And Good beats Bad all the time.  Except when you take into account Dark Helmet's wise words that Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb.


But those crazy Russians will fight you to the death when you present them with hard facts about the amazing successes of America during the Second World War.  Facts like:

• We dropped two atomic bombs, forcing the surrender of one of the axis powers.
• Without our participation in the invasion of Normandy, the Allies would not have been able to begin moving East, retaking Europe as they went.
• We achieved air superiority with the involvement of planes like the B-17 Flying Fortress and the P-51 Mustang.
• Our tanks, like the Sherman, could beat the pants off most German tanks (except those which were so badass that nothing could stop them except a lack of fuel or money to produce them (Tiger 2's)).  
• Psh, We're Americans, and we win EVERYthing.

 It seems like sometimes, they forget that they had the Japanese knocking on their backdoors (which perhaps the Russians might have even enjoyed), and we took care of them in like a week and a half.  Whereas the Russian strategy for fighting the Germans consisted of nothing more than, "Aie! Ze Germanz! Vee mahst rrun avay!"  Then, according to the plan of Sir Robin of Monty Python, the Germans became so confused by their running away that the Russians could strike at Stalingrad, when the Germans least expected it.


Also?  The Soviet T-34 tank was like trying to fight a giant ogre-dragon hybrid while using a pencil as a sword and an Altoid tin for a shield.

And if that's not the best evidence that America won WW2, I don't know what is.  

Media Woes

The often brilliant Vicki, who writes over at the modestly named blog Vic tac ular, wrote a post today about her Media Diet.  And let me tell you - it is ridiculous.  The girl basically reads everything written on the internet every single day.  That isn't an exaggeration.   

Which got me thinking about my relationship with the media.  It's rather unilateral, I think.  Let me explain.

In High school, did you ever have one of those really geeky dweebs who had a super major crush on you?  And you thought they were ok and all, but you'd never really like to get with them or anything, except in a freaky American-Pie-band-geek sort of one night stand.  That's how I feel about the media. They're trying so desperately to get in my pants that it kind of turns me off. 

CNN used to be awesome, but now they seem to have taken a more US weekly approach to news.  I remember finally officially turning it off during the Anna Nicole Smith media disaster. 

Fox is and will likely always be awesome.  Not for news, though.  More for gauging just how stupid media executives think we are.  Which is always an important thing to have a grasp on. 

I feel guilty getting news from Jon Stewart.  Mainly because the news he delivers is media centered, so the information isn't about the event being discussed, per se, but rather how the media is covering said event. And also, he's ridiculously liberal, which I happen to enjoy, but it doesn't promote entirely fair media consumption. 

Websites are usually tediously designed, with too much chaos to properly decipher what is news worth hearing about. I absolutely HATE the NY Times layout, which has unfortunately become sort of a model for other websites.  In addition, their headlines typically misdirect you with something that WOULD be interesting to read, only to find out that the story contained beneath it is only remotely related to the over-hyped headline. 

And finally, I tried the twitter feed, but there's just too much to keep up with.  I followed @breakingnews which worked for a while, but there was just SO much.  I couldn't keep up with reading this all the time.  And honestly, most of it was just headlines that one or two people died in Djibouti, which isn't all that important to me (sorry to say). 

(side note - does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this country?  I choose to pronounce it Ja-Booty.  I also choose to pronounce "Duchy" - Dooky - as in the "Grand Dooky of Lithuania" for the country that was the "ancestor" to Belarus).

So right now, I'm sort of getting my news mostly through passive diffusion.  Essentially, that means I'm too lazy.

However, I do occasionally enjoy Yahoo's homepage.  There are four stories you can see at any given time, which you can digest slowly and leisurely. There are usually stories with lots of pictures, which I like, and typically a lot of lists.  The only downside is that the majority of the stories deal with sports, and I seriously couldn't give a crap about sports.  More on that later though.

So, please, please, please help me!  I want to be up to date on the news of the world, but I need it fed to me in nice, easy spoonfuls.  Preferably spoonfuls with lots of pictures, and not much actual reading.  Any suggestions?