Post-Thanksgiving Turkey-Fueled Rant about the Dangers of Free-Market Capitalism

Ahh, thanksgiving.  It's one of those few exceptional times during the year in America where we can come together with our families and indulge in our own cultural traditions.  Some families watch football, some play football.  Some fight over who gets to break the wishbone.  Almost everyone is in a turkey coma.

There are very few real secular traditions in American culture.  And thanksgiving is probably the last remaining bastion of real tradition that we have left.  I love the holiday, and I think the only people who don't are turkey lovers.  And I don't mean "lovers of eating turkey".  I mean people who marry turkeys.  Yeah, Them.  Weirdos.

But the great American free market knows that people are enjoying themselves and seems to want a piece of it.  Because every single year, the openings of their stores encroach more and more on our celebrations.

Take, for example, Target, which opens its doors this year at midnight on Black Friday.  Yes, you read that right.  Midnight.  Toys R Us?  9pm.  NINE PM.  Most people who read this will think, "Who wants to shop at 9pm after eating an entire gaggle of bearded geese?"  And you're right.  Seriously, who wants to do this?  I really want to know.  Think about it - you have to either cut your celebration short, or start earlier, or whatever to get some sleep so that you can make your way down to your target to get a $350 40'' TV.

Simply put, that means that for people who will show up at midnight on Black Friday, shopping is more important than family.

Ok, but what about the counterargument?  Yes, we might be moving our celebrations for shopping, but it's for a good cause - buying things cheaply (especially during a recession) so that we can spread joy on Christmas.

Believe me - I get the whole, buying things cheaply deal.  But if your budget is so tight that you have to get up at midnight to go and buy $350 TVs, perhaps you should reconsider spending so much money in the first place?  You know what they say, buy one, get one half off isn't really a deal unless you planned on buying two to begin with.  Otherwise, it's just a ploy to get you to spend more money.

And spreading joy during Christmas through material possessions?  Look, I'm all for buying awesome stuff for your kids and making them happy, but why compromise one holiday for another simply for savings?  Personally, I'd rather pay a little more if it means I get to celebrate Thanksgiving normally, and without nap breaks so I can get to Target at 12 midnight.

*steps off soapbox*

But hey, the great thing about America is you're free to do whatever you want.  Just don't come crawling to me when you don't have any money because you chose to forgo American tradition for what companies WANT you to think is American tradition.

Just another reason why the free market is a bad idea.

Veteran's Day

My paternal grandfather was a pilot in WW2.  My father was a Navy ship doc in the Persian Gulf and spent 27 years in the service.  My mom was an enlisted nurse.  My brother is in Alaska with the Coast Guard jumping out of helicopters every day to ensure safety in treacherous waters.  He also did a tour in the Caribbean stopping migrants and drug runners from hitting our shores.  I've been around the military my entire life. 

So when I got my Air Force ROTC scholarship to be an aerospace engineer designing sweet airplanes like the F-22, I guess you could say it was pretty much my destiny. 

Unless, of course, you take into consideration that I am too stubborn to listen to authority and hate following orders, especially if everyone else is following them.

But that's besides the point.  It's Veteran's Day.  Which makes me reflect on my 26 years of living in almost constant contact with military families and the problems that these people face.  You know what's great?  That 9 out of 10 veterans will be thanked for their service today. 

You know what's not great?  That the unemployment rate for veterans is 12.1%.  And when you break that down further, it's 30% for veterans 18-24 years old.  Compare this to the 19% unemployment for recent college grads.  But let's be fair here - a good number of those college grads SHOULDN'T be employed because they majored in leisure or woman's studies. Just hypothesizing and rounding, let's say that there is even 15% of recent college grads who don't have a job but majored in something useful.

You also have to consider that there are some college grads who just went to school because their parents made them, and are now on their parents' couch working at Urban Outfitters.  And college grads who can afford to be picky about their career path because they're still on their parents' health insurance and want to wait out the recession until that dream career comes knocking on their door. 

But every single veteran who comes back from a tour of duty has done a service for their country that relatively few have the balls to do.  Sure, some enter in for different reasons.  Hell, I wanted someone to pay for my school, so I signed up for ROTC.  Then when things hit the fan, I dropped out and tried to enlist because they were waving a $20k signing bonus in my face.  And to a 19 year old kid, $20k is a LOT of money.  Actually, I don't know many people that would say it's not a lot of money.  Except, maybe, me from the future.  That's right, we talk.

Sorry, got on a tangent there.  What I'm trying to say is that despite anyone's reasons for getting in the military, they all sacrifice something.  And they come back to 30% unemployment after a year long tour in the asshole of Hell - Afghanistan.  Or it's close neighbor the dirty taint of hell - Iraq.  We kids who went to college? What did we sacrifice?  I mean, besides a couple million brain cells from getting drunk and falling down the stairs. 

I'm not saying that we should feel guilty for not serving in the military, or that there should be mandatory service (though it seems like a good idea, although I haven't thought it through entirely).  I'm just saying that for God's sake - we've gotta do more than just thank these folks.  If that's all we're doing, we're just giving them lip service.  Which, hey, it's been a long time for some of them - they might need that (sorry - dirty joke). 

But Christ, in 2011, there were about 11k troops just from Iraq and Afghanistan that were homeless.  That's not counting veterans from before these wars or from other theaters of operation.  Going off of the roughly 130k troops in both Iraq and Afghanistan, that's an 8.5% chance that you'll be homeless once you come back from war.  WTF. 

So yes, absolutely.  Thank a vet today.  And every day for that matter.  But please.  They need more than thanks.  They need good, paying jobs.  And for christ's sake - if they're responsible and reliable enough to handle a gun that looks like this:

without killing themselves or others (except for the bad guys) all while coordinating with their platoons to effectively clear buildings and neighborhoods while minimizing casualties, I think they'll be responsible and reliable enough to hand in their TPS reports on time.

So Happy Veteran's day.  And if you've served our country in any way, thank you.  The second I own my own business, I'll staff it entirely with veterans.  Should make for an interesting company picnic.

TL:DR - I got a newspaper called "BORING TIMES"

I heard a story this morning about illegal immigration in the US, and how it's on the decline because of the lagging economy.  This got me thinking about immigration in general, and the perception of emigrants to America by friends and family who are left behind in the countries that they leave.

My in-laws have friends and family who still live in Belarus and Ukraine.  Whenever we discuss the possibility of going to visit, (something I'm really looking forward to, but we can never seem to put the pieces together) they will always sigh and grumble over the fact that we need to bring a suitcase full of gifts for the people we were going to go and see.

This is not an acceptable gift.

There are two reasons for this.  First, as a token of gratitude for letting us come and eat and drink and relax at that person's place.  I get this - it is a simple sign of human decency to show gratitude for hospitality.  But the second reason is because most people think that if you leave to go to America, you get out of the plane and money rains down on you so much that you can barely stand from having to carry all the extra money in your pockets.  Thus, it is your obligation to spread that inevitable wealth with your unfortunate friends whom you left behind in the economic travesty that is the former USSR. 

She used to be your college roommate

And every time I bring up the conversation with my in-laws, they cite examples of friends who are living off of $100/month in a city where a pair of pants can cost $50.  But to me, this is a skewed statistic, because a) who could live off such a tiny salary, b) who counts Belorussian salaries in US dollars, and c) who can convert rubles to dollars so quickly and accurately?

Being a skeptic and a data-whore, I looked at some figures this morning.  And I haven't come to any real conclusions yet, as I'm sort of researching and writing this post at the same time.  But here's what I've found.

But first, a note about the statistics and facts: I wanted to use median household income, but couldn't find any really reliable numbers.  I instead used per capita GDP, which admittedly doesn't adjust for distribution of wealth, but for our purposes, we'll just assume that per capita GDP is roughly equivalent to what someone in that country would earn on average. Also, the majority of this information has been pulled from wikipedia and numbeo.com, so...yeah - take the data with a grain of salt.  This is mostly for gross generalization purposes.  I'm not submitting a paper to the Harvard Review here.  If I were, I wouldn't say "balls" or "fart".  because that would be unprofessional.  

Country	Per Capita GDP	Cost of Living	Adjusted Income
US	46860	76.19	$61,504.13
Ukraine	6698	45.14	$14,838.28
Russia	15612	63.98	$24,401.38
Belarus	13874	47.89	$28,970.56
Norway	51959	139.53	$37,238.59
Sweden	38204	100.68	$37,945.97
Los Angeles	57500	96.11	$59,827.28
Chicago	56300	88.55	$63,579.90
NYC	67700	100	$67,700.00
Philadelphia	58200	78.55	$74,092.93
San Fransisco	75200	101.43	$74,139.80

All data I found used NYC as a base, so in the information above, if the US cost of living is 76.19, that means prices across the US are on average 76.19% of NYC prices.  So, if you were to normalize all of this and put each GDP per capita in NYC dollars, an average Belorussian citizen would have to live in New York City off of $28,970, not an easy thing to do.  For a Russian, it would be $24,401, even WORSE than Belarus.  A Ukrainian?  $14,838.  But an average American would have to live in NYC off of $61,504.  Almost double that of the Belorussian and FOUR times that of the Ukrainian.  Not too shabby.I just threw Norway and Sweden in there because they're usually the model of oppressive taxation and outrageous cost of living.

But the problem with this, of course, is that you can't say that the income distribution across the entire country is equal (obviously).  This doesn't take into account that people in Moscow or Minsk or Kiev might make more money (or have a higher cost of living).  Additionally, it doesn't take into account that the salaries of those in American cities are generally lower than those people who can afford to live in the suburbs and commute into the urban areas.

Another interesting thing to look at is the distribution of immigrants from Eastern Europe.  The data's a little stale, but I found data from 2000 showing that of the 890,530 immigrants from the former USSR, 233,724 found themselves in New York, 181,800 in California (likely in San Fran or LA) and 44,998 in PA (probably Philly). 

So I found the per capita and cost of living information for those cities, and it was a little more revealing.  A person in Philly or San Fran is living off of almost 5 times more than someone in Ukraine.  The worst city is LA, where they only make 4 times that of the after person in Ukraine.  And the average people in these two cities beat the pants off of anyone from the Scandinavian countries. 

Ok, I'll admit - I've spent a bit too much time on Memebase.

So it would seem that the obvious solution is to come to America to quadruple your income, but what the statistics don't tell you is that there are HUGE and rather obvious issues with immigrating, beginning with being allowed in the country in the first place, and including such non-trivial things like, "hey, you're in your 40s or 50s and have to struggle with having an education that isn't recognized, oh and by the way, you've gotta start learning a language you've never even had the chance to be properly exposed to."  So you're likely to not get a job that is anywhere near what your true qualifications are, thereby significantly decreasing your earnings potential (which sort of flies in the face of everything I've said above) because you're now delivering pizzas instead of working for Lockheed Martin as a Fluid Dynamics specialist.  Also: your children and grandchildren will likely shun your language and culture, isolating you from your own family by making you "the weird grandparent with the creepy accent". 

Ok, one last meme to wrap up the post:

How we Remember

9/11 means a different thing for every single person.

Some people choose to use the day to remember the heroes of the homeland who fought to save lives at great risk to their own.  Some people choose to use the day to remember how vulnerable our country is.  Some people choose to use the day to remember that there are crazy nut-job people in every corner of the earth, in every culture, and in every religion. 

The LEAST we can do is provide healthcare for them.

But I think the unfortunate thing about this is that the majority of people only remember these things on 9/11.  They need a holiday to remind them that there are both heroes and nut-jobs everywhere, and that our country has a giant scar across its face that will likely never heal.

What's the difference between two months ago and today?  Two months ago, no one was even mentioning 9/11.  For the most part - people were mostly just going about their day, chatting with their neighbors about Kim Kardashian's wedding and did Jada cheat on Will and other similarly ridiculous things.  Today, people are posting on Facebook about how they'll "Never Forget".  Two months from now, it will again be back to trivial distractions.

I think it's a bit silly.  If you're going to remember the tragic events, remember the tragic events. Carry it with you every single day.  Of course, don't dwell on it, but don't let that memory sit untouched for 10 years only to resurface with phony tributes in your Facebook status.

I was walking with my wife yesterday to the playground so that Sammy could get his swing on (he loves the swings).  We noticed how uncharacteristically dead quiet the playground was, and commented on how it was likely because most people were observing 9/11 in some way or another.  I told my wife how fake I thought it was, and just like every other time we discuss something - she told me I was stupid.

She told me about the Russian Orthodox tradition, where people who lose a family member will set a place setting (complete with shot glass) out for them at the table for the 9 days (or 40 days, I wasn't really listening, and she definitely said the number 40 about something) after their death to commemorate their passing.  Then one year after their passing, they will put a memorial stone on their grave, and every year on the anniversary of their passing, they will light a candle.

Apparently, after a quick Google search, this is not an uncommon practice.

But the way I see it is: what's so special about that day?  Don't you carry the memory of that person with you every minute of every day?  Their death is no more or less significant to you one year later than it is ten years and three months.  It's a tragedy, simple as that.  And it always will be a tragedy.

So for me, when that fateful time comes, I plan on not doing anything special to commemorate.  I'll just keep it in my back pocket, carrying it with me always.  Same as what I do with 9/11.

Stasha from Northwest Mommy is Guest Posting!

Dear everyone who thinks that Communism is bad: Please read the guest post from Stasha (who is the curator of Northwest Mommy) who has hard evidence to the fact that Communism is awesome. 

This is a true story.

I grew up with my grandparents in a small country in the heart of Europe. Back then it belonged to Yugoslavia. Much like Bill’s lovely wife I was raised in a socialist system. Except all my memories are fond.

My grandpa was a high-ranking officer in National army. He joined the Academy young, not long after the 2^nd world war ended. Like many of his peers, being a child of war gave him a unique perspective on life. He was a proud and hardworking man. But most of all, he was a man of honor.

Back at the end of 60’s, the town near Lake Bled planned to build a campsite for tourists to enjoy. The area was marshy and a few contractors failed to drain it properly. The mayor contacted the government and my grandfather was asked to assist. He was an engineer and his department was deployed to give the grounds one last try.

It is of course a happy story. They managed to drain it, and since then, it has been a five star camping ground. In return my grandfather was offered a bid at a lot to build his dacha on. (Note from Bill - for those who don't know, a dacha is like a house in the country side...pretty much required for all people of society in Eastern European countries) He declined.  Afterward he mentioned he had to stop at the chocolate factory to pick up some giant bars for his three daughters, but the mayor sent him some as a thank you.

My grandma repeated this story many times. I think there was a longing in her voice, regret that her husband never provided her with a luxurious summer retreat. He was a civic servant, an officer doing his job. She never understood him.

In socialism we were all given equal privileges and responsibilities; in return we were expected to be productive members of society. Grandpa was never politically involved, but he followed the principles and accepting a gift was against everything he stood for.

He was my role model, my hero. I hope one day, soon, my son and I go camping back home. I will tell him a story of his great grandfather. It is worth so much more then a summerhouse ever would be.

Thank you, Stasha, for sharing a truly touching story about your Grandpa.  My wife's father is trained as a Marsh-draining engineer as well - small world.  And also, thank you for showing the beauty of Communism - which is: if you do something good for the government, you can get some giant chocolate bars in return.  And seriously, who doesn't like chocolate?

Go on over to Stasha's and check out her blog, which she shares with her adorable son who is gutsy enough to sport pink Chuck Taylor's and massive Newfoundland dog who does shag carpet impressions.

History Lesson

It's time for this week's thoroughly researched and historically accurate (and, as usual for this blog, not ignorant what-so-ever) history lesson.

Why, you ask?  A couple reasons.  First - whatevuh - I do wut I want. Second - history can be awesome if you focus your attention on tanks and away from boring stuff like facts.  And third, which is probably most important, have you ever spoken to a Russian about World War 2?  Apparently, they won the pants off of it.

I know what you're thinking - America won WW2.  And it did - there's no question about it.  It's written in all the best history books and in all websites that I chose to read.  And it's logical too.  America = Good.  Nazis = Bad.  Soviets = not as bad as Nazis, but still - they're not America, so pretty bad.  And Good beats Bad all the time.  Except when you take into account Dark Helmet's wise words that Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb.


But those crazy Russians will fight you to the death when you present them with hard facts about the amazing successes of America during the Second World War.  Facts like:

• We dropped two atomic bombs, forcing the surrender of one of the axis powers.
• Without our participation in the invasion of Normandy, the Allies would not have been able to begin moving East, retaking Europe as they went.
• We achieved air superiority with the involvement of planes like the B-17 Flying Fortress and the P-51 Mustang.
• Our tanks, like the Sherman, could beat the pants off most German tanks (except those which were so badass that nothing could stop them except a lack of fuel or money to produce them (Tiger 2's)).  
• Psh, We're Americans, and we win EVERYthing.

 It seems like sometimes, they forget that they had the Japanese knocking on their backdoors (which perhaps the Russians might have even enjoyed), and we took care of them in like a week and a half.  Whereas the Russian strategy for fighting the Germans consisted of nothing more than, "Aie! Ze Germanz! Vee mahst rrun avay!"  Then, according to the plan of Sir Robin of Monty Python, the Germans became so confused by their running away that the Russians could strike at Stalingrad, when the Germans least expected it.


Also?  The Soviet T-34 tank was like trying to fight a giant ogre-dragon hybrid while using a pencil as a sword and an Altoid tin for a shield.

And if that's not the best evidence that America won WW2, I don't know what is.  

Political compass

I recently took the Political Compass Test which gave me the result shown below:

This didn't really come as much of a surprise to me, as I had already known that I was fairly left leaning.  But what did surprise me was two things.  First: I cognitively recognize that I am authoritarian - I believe the state should have a lot of power for good reasons.  Regulation is not necessarily a bad thing.  So the fact that this showed I leaned Libertarian did surprise me based upon my answers to the questions.

The second thing that surprised me was the chart showing famous people and their placement on the compass:

 

Apparently, I'm closely aligned with the political viewpoints of Nelson Mandela or The Dalai Lama.Which is pretty cool considering I'm a big fan of South African accents.  And I enjoy goats and mountains.  These are pretty much the only prerequisites to being Nelson Mandela or the Dalai Lama, right?