Friday, July 1, 2011

4th of July Weekend on the W00t scale!!

Two of you are Superfluous.  Even if you are "little".
Hellz yeah!  Guess what today is!  Yeah, ok - it's Friday, Rebecca Black, we know.  But it's also the day before a long weekend.  4th of July!  Which leads me to reincarnate the w00t scale in order to scientifically denote just how awesome this weekend will be.  Seriously, if I had a ninja for every time I thought about how awesome this weekend is going to be, well, I'd have too many ninjas, because one is all you need.  (if there are any terrorists reading this, forget I said that).

So, tonight, we're doing some sweet Mediterranean food.  This is like, +6 w00ts, because I have a serious addiction to hummus.  Actually, on a related note, did you know that hummus makes you gassy?  I didn't.  That is, until I had a whole plate of it to myself at a restaurant and then we went to the movies.  It was crowded in the movies, which was nice, cause no one could pin it on me.  +1 more w00t just for that. 
Apparently, Godzilla hasn't listened to Towelie's sage advice

Then tomorrow, we're forming a Sahara desert style caravan of around 3560 people and making the long journey down to the Jersey Shore for some fist pumping action.  -3 w00ts because fist pumping for us is a euphemism for changing diapers. But then again, +1 w00t because the Grenade Free Foundation is also a euphemism for no poop blowouts.  Also, this will be Sammy's first time at the ocean, and I'm super excited to make a sweet sand castle and put him in the middle of it and pretend that he's Godzilla while making him destroy said sand castle.  +1 w00t!

Then, we're gonna truck it back on home for a sweet steak grilling extravaganza, because nothing says "Goddamn it, I love freedom" than eating steak off the grill.  Unless we were to eat it without forks and knives.  Or hands.  We just picked up $40 worth of t-bones.  I'm thinking we cook them, but "forget" to invite people over.  +1 w00t for selfishness!  Wait, it's not really selfishness if it comes to food.  It's really more wise survival skills.  -4 w00ts for rationalizing greed.

Ok, so far that's +3 w00ts, which means this weekend will be pretty sweet and rockin'.

So, I'm going over my adolescent boy checklist to make sure I got everything. 

  • Fart joke, check. 
  • Godzilla reference, check. 
  • Ninja picture, check.  
  • Stoner reference, check. 
  • Jersey Shore reference, double check.

Ok, I think I've covered all of my bases. Enjoy the weekend, and be an American! Punch a terrorist!


  1. I feel bad for the people going to dinner with you tonight.

  2. +10 woots for a long weekend for you guys!

    Go easy on the hummus.

  3. Hummus gives me gas and also terrible withdrawals

  4. Have a good one. Godzilla, really? You men love messing with these poor kids from day one. I watched mine being instructed by husband how to block and attack today in the back garden. I don't know..

  5. Sounds like a great day to me! I hope the beach turns out great. Every time we go its a huge letdown bc he gets too grumpy and hot and there are no cool sandcastle experiences...yes...

  6. You totally forgot a few + w00ts for your wife being in a bikini and being able to check her out.

  7. Thank You! That's what I am saying!

  8. 4th of July is my favorite day of the year, so many great memories.


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