And I am dying a little bit every minute that goes by and I haven't worked on studying for exams.
So I'm freaking out a little what with the stress, and wondering if my brother knew this would be the PERFECT weekend to schedule his stupid marriage celebration on. Also, I forgot - still need to write best man speech.
OK - got it.
"Thank you all for coming. *farts into microphone*. You're welcome, enjoy the food."
At least I've checked one thing off my list.
Anyway, don't be discouraged, weddings are always great sources of ridiculous drama. Speaking of which, I must say that I've focused a lot on my wife's silly Russian-isms mostly because they're light hearted and cutesy, and everyone looks at them with the same sort of loving annoyance as they did with Urkel when he would break something and say, "Did I do thaaaat?".
But my family...is not Urkel. They are...um...Frank and Marie Barrone from Everybody Loves Raymond on steroids. Mixed with three Face-hugger aliens. Not lovable and cute, just intrusive and suffocating. I think this wedding will be a perfect segue into my survival story growing up under their watchful eye. In preparation, and possibly as foreshadowing, I give you this tidbit:
When I was one month old, my parents gave me a slice of cooked steak to suck on. Go back and read that again. I was ONE MONTH OLD. They thought that because I was hungry, they would let me suck on steak. And also, they thought it was cute.
Like I said...my survival story begins after the break. But I will be live-tweeting the drama! You can follow me at @smellsofborscht.
See you on twitter!